Are interracial marriages wrong?

[samspade]

Not from my perspective but once again I saw the specter of someone who said that the races should not mix. I realize that many people do stay with in their own color, even though the other person may not be the same geno than them, however there are many who cross into interracial marriages and relationships which benefit each other.

My cousin has been married to a black man for many years and they are happy. I see others on TV and real life who are in relationships and marriage that are making a go at it.

In fact while I am thinking of it I remember a few years about about a show I watched about people who deliberately chose people from other races to date and marry.

Is interracial marriage all the time good? No one can say always. Any marriage has its ups and downs and just as with a lot of marriages the relatives and friends can either be a help or a hindrance to a relationship.

Thus the mother-in-law jokes.

Any time one goes into a relationship there is the feeling out of each other to see if there is compatibility.

Some do not stray from their own for various reasons. One that i can think of is how the relationship will develop if you have others who spend their time trying to break you up.

Who can truly say that they are pure this or that? I have a little Indian blood in me as well as others.

Thoughts?

[Susanna]

We're all members of the human race. We all descended, not only from Adam & Eve, but from Noah and his wife. Sometimes, the inadvisability (notice, I did not say it was wrong) of marriage between races is more cultural than racial. People who have been brought up similarly should be able to adapt to one another regardless of race. Even the cultural differences will not always be a hindrance. For instance, my great-niece is married to a Pakistani Muslim, and the whole family lives together - her husband's parents & brothers - I don't know about sisters, they may go to their husbands family - and these people consider Meghan's family part of their extended family. That is a very big cultural difference, but they seem to get along well. I have a problem with their being Muslim, but I don't have a racial problem (actually, in spite of what some people say, they are not of a different race).

[dee]

Provocative question.... once upon a time, I was against blacks & whites marrying. My "reasoning" varied from - it just doesn't look right, to I can't stand the "gangsta" crap. (the cloths, music, actions, speech) I was raised where there were very few black people around. Didn't attend school with any.

When my eldest sister married a black man 10 yrs (?) ago - I was horrified! OMG, what was she thinking??? Then two of my neices married black men! Having them in the family, and being around them was very uncomfortable for me at first. I had no problem with black people, just the interracial issue. After getting to know them, and seeing that were happy together....I had to rethink things.

First, I'm mostly German, with Irish and a bit of Indian thrown in. I am a product of interracial love/sex/marriage. I married a man who was half Indian when I was 17. So...my prejudices were a bit ridiculous. I mean, it wasn't between blacks & whites, but still....

The wonderful man I am married to now is Cuban.

In short, my problem seemed to be my thinking of interracial as black & white. Not considering red, yellow, brown, etc. At that point, I realized how silly I had been.

Now - no, I do not have a problem with it.

[TheOperative]

Not that it's wrong, but interracial marriages and their eventual offspring will have more hardships because of it. That's just the way it is.

[Susanna]

Originally Posted by TheOperative

Not that it's wrong, but interracial marriages and their eventual offspring will have more hardships because of it. That's just the way it is.

That's true enough, because there are still enough people who think it's "wrong," and those who are just plain prejudiced. They will give the children a hard time one way or another. As children, they will likely be taunted, because children are cruel. As adults, they are likely to be "unacceptable" to some people of either race. Fortunately, that is not as bad as it used to be.

I remember a Sunday School class where the teacher used the story of how the people of Israel put away their foreign wives, because their children were being brought up in a pagan religion, and even some of the husbands fell for it, as a call against interracial marriage. Of course, it had nothing to do with race, but religion. What was worse, there was a Japanese lady in the class who was married to a white man - except that, not very obvious, he was also part American Indian. I often wondered how she felt. I was too timid in those days to speak up. Much earlier, I was in a Sunday School class in which interracial marriage was discussed, and one man simply said, as a backup for his belief that it was wrong, "I don't believe in it!" Of the scripture passage mentioned above, I remember hearing many years ago about a South African preacher using it to support apartheid. I guess you can twist scripture to support anything you want to believe.

[Forget_the_Truth]

Theres nothing wrong what so ever with it in my opinion, my Mom and step-dad are of a diffrent race and they are okay together, besides the doffrent cutural quirks are just what makes it funny and cool

[samspade]

Originally Posted by Forget_the_Truth

Theres nothing wrong what so ever with it in my opinion, my Mom and step-dad are of a diffrent race and they are okay together, besides the doffrent cutural quirks are just what makes it funny and cool

Welcome back

[Sir_WilliamXI]

Makes no differance to me...



Now not everyone faint at once, a White Conservative Southerner saying that.... [/sarcam off]

[smichellen]

nothing wrong with it. Like my brother joked before...I wouldn't have dated much or married if it were an issue.

From my experience it is more of cultural dif as already stated here. So, of course that can happen within any mixed couple.

My problems in my marraige were not to do with him being black, but actually more to do with him being British.

TO, why would the offspring have hardship? It's become so common and more and more people are starting to figure out that it shouldn't be an issue. The next generation is actually going to have it easier and easier. Besides, as for me and my kids we just don't have to pay attention to ignorance.

[smichellen]

Question.
Why is this subject in the cigar lounge?
At first I wasn't going to look thinking it was SPAM
Then i noticed it was started by SamSpade and came on in.
lol

[TheOperative]

Originally Posted by smichellen

Question.
Why is this subject in the cigar lounge?
At first I wasn't going to look thinking it was SPAM
Then i noticed it was started by SamSpade and came on in.
lol

Yeah, I'm moving it to the family forum, it's a bit on the heavy side.

[TheOperative]

Originally Posted by smichellen

nothing wrong with it. Like my brother joked before...I wouldn't have dated much or married if it were an issue.

From my experience it is more of cultural dif as already stated here. So, of course that can happen within any mixed couple.

My problems in my marraige were not to do with him being black, but actually more to do with him being British.

TO, why would the offspring have hardship? It's become so common and more and more people are starting to figure out that it shouldn't be an issue. The next generation is actually going to have it easier and easier. Besides, as for me and my kids we just don't have to pay attention to ignorance.

You're right that it's becoming easier and more accepted. I find that it is more accepted in mainstream white America, than it is among other ethnic groups in America, ie Hispanic, Asian, etc...

At least that is my experience. I have the same opinion regarding marrying when the two individuals are both faithful followers of different religions. It's not wrong, obviously, but a faithful Adventist marrying a faithful Catholic, will run into problems when raising kids, dealing with each others family etc..not exactly the same as with race, but similar.

[smichellen]

As for religion. It is not possible for two diffferent faiths to be in one house. It requires compromise that weakens one or the other, and that makes it wrong. That's diffferent than culture or race.

[Sir_WilliamXI]

Indeed, my dad is a staunch Southern Baptist, when he married my mother, the Catholic church excommunicated her, and she became Baptist...

[Conservative Libertarian]

Originally Posted by smichellen

As for religion. It is not possible for two diffferent faiths to be in one house. It requires compromise that weakens one or the other, and that makes it wrong. That's diffferent than culture or race.

So far, so good here. 10 years and going strong. My sense of being Christian has actually become stronger than when we married. We respect each other's religious beliefs and encourage each other in that way. Our son is being raised Christian even though my wife is Muslim.

[samspade]

Originally Posted by TheOperative

Not that it's wrong, but interracial marriages and their eventual offspring will have more hardships because of it. That's just the way it is.

I can not talk about what others have seen but my experience is that mixed children get more grief from blacks in my area.

[samspade]

Originally Posted by smichellen

As for religion. It is not possible for two diffferent faiths to be in one house. It requires compromise that weakens one or the other, and that makes it wrong. That's diffferent than culture or race.

In my marriage I was nonreligious even though I had been raised a Roman Catholic and she was Lutheran but in the end she used religion against me even though I did not practice religion nor criticised her for hers.

[Crimson_Pride]

I don't think it's wrong at all. It's true though that children of inter-racial marriages will end up getting more grief than children of intra-racial marriages. This has declined over time though so the more times passes, the more normal a childhood someone of mixed race will have.

What I hate though is the situations where a person of mixed race is placed in this box of having to choose one race or the other to belong to. I knew a kid a few years ago who was told by his black mother that he was a black person. He had a white father who was not in the picture....never knew why. Anyway, some of the kids at school actually made fun of him calling him white...as though there's something wrong with being white?

I always found it strange that his mother didn't just sit him and down and explain that people are different and that he didn't have to be black or white or anything else. Instead she tried to give him "identity." Maybe that's how he was going to fit in with her family or the people in the neighborhood, I don't know. Either way, it was a sad testament.

[TeenageRepublican]

In the end, I don't really think it matters. We're all going to be one race in a couple hundred years or so. I know a Chinese kid who lives with nine other kids in his house (most them are adopted) and are different races. There's no conflict in that house.

[Darcey]

Originally Posted by TheOperative

Not that it's wrong, but interracial marriages and their eventual offspring will have more hardships because of it. That's just the way it is.

Marriage is difficult at best and a lot of hard work between two people who are of the same race/culture/beliefs. I agree that this major difference inevitably causes additional stress on a marriage and puts children in an awkward position with their peers.
We knew a couple where the husband was white and the wife was black. She had suffered discrimination, so she was better able to handle what came their way as an inter-racially married couple. But he was unprepared and having a difficult time coping with the discrimination they received.
I also remember a black friend from high school telling me she felt that her cousin [with whom she was irritated for some reason] thought she was better than the other blacks because her skin was lighter. I doubt her cousin felt that way, but it shows how her being different set the cousin apart from the others and it was used against her in an argument. Kids can be cruel.
Both are examples of the additional stress/suffering brought on by inter-racial marriages. I absolutely think there is nothing wrong with it.......but I think a couple needs to count the cost and be ready to face what they and their children will experience because of it.