92 billion cubic light-years, or, why I can't believe in God

I found this cool map of the observable universe on reddit. It’s over 92 billion cubic light-years and is nearly 14 billion years old.

Not that this is necessarily incongruent with faith, but the existential dread and incomprehensible scale of the universe seeing something like this instills in me makes the question of a creator seem meaningless, because we are meaningless on this scale anyway. It seems far more likely we’re just a really happy accident. Nothing too serious, just wanted to share something cool and some thoughts it inspired.

I used to get stoned and ponder that question everyday ya know David Bowies Life on Mars? How all of life is a play a cosmic parody. The monsters are in charge, civil rights are a joke and the worst part top it off were all doing it on a pale blue dot. Do you think God wanted that hooker to be forcefully sodomizd after she returned the cash and begged no she had children? What about that bus driver that kept women in his basement in Cleveland? Was that some touched by an angel type plan. What about about the cops that beat a man until his jaw broke because he was gonna expose corruption. What about that time a military contractor hired afghani youth for sexual purposes? What about the rape of nanking? All on a pale blue dot may I remind you. What about disease and the emerald being green. What about the second largest religion that claims God sent his son down in the flesh to be devoured by us and how they devour others in his name? Once you realize that was true it makes sense. If something was divine here he would be devoured right? Ain’t it Ironic I spent 24 years of my 35 hating God because he was so perfect until I woke up one day through no volition of my own and simply realized yes God exists and man is the problem. God tried to fix it. Were a miserable experiment gone wrong. People have asked me where does that leave us as The Sims a really bad save file of the sims. Sometimes I view god as an invasive interstellar force that releases us from our suffering. Almost like we become a host and we are no loner burdened by our existential inconveniences? Yeah like some Zombie plague. Then I see people faking it on tv for some cash and luxury and all the sheep go baah and buy the food buckets. I think the dumb ones view God or Christ as good because they had happy memories at bible camp. Then politicians fake it and they one really big high energy experience. Where my experience is more like the brute beating his chest in sorrow asking God for Forgiveness. Luke 18:10 that’s the part.

I’ve been an atheist since 2008, but I don’t think people believing in god is a bad thing… most of the time. In fact I wish more people did believe in an omniscient man in the clouds and post-life punishment than believe men and women both have interchangeable sexual organs and mental illness should be celebrated.

(I saw a tik-tok video of some kid who self diagnosed as WHATEVER and now I have it too! amazing)

I am not a fan of religion, but I believe that there is a divine creator. That entity is beyond our understanding.

If he, she or whatever is interested in us, our continuing ability to create monsters like Hitler, Stalin, Xi and Putin turning the entity off eons ago. I actually thought that the world would become a better place after the fall of the Soviet Union and the Chinese seemed to turn more toward market capitalism.

Was I wrong! Things are right back to where they were with monsters, like Xi and Putin, looking to rule the earth just like Hitler, Stalin and World War II Japanese leader Tojo.

Used to believe this stuff sincerely had elements of Druze, Kaballah with the Gita mixed together in my psychedellic head. Still have a penchant for Kaballah.

So what drives you? I always took you as a paranoid Qanonist. Anti-globalist, maxim traditionalist. Seems like someone defined by liberalism broke you heart. You know I try to tolerate “whatever it is” but have reactionary traditionalist elements in me.

Sounds like Kaballah Jewish mystics they are the one of the few that feel they can’t define the divine outside of a few characteristics.

What drives me to what? I’ll be honest, I still don’t know what qanon is, but from snippets and questions I’ve addressed to this site and co-workers it’s a website kind of Alex Jone-ish?

I’m not paranoid I’m just awake. And what is driving you people to make boys think they are girls and girls think they are boys is just beyond me. All a part of the religion of leftism. And somewhere down the pipeline it has some devious sexual sh-- thrown in there because almost everything the left does has some devious sexual sh-- at the finish line. Devious meaning involving kids at some point.

I was asking what drives your ideology.

For me its the environment, the least of us, the income inequality, an inclusive society, I’d say my ideas I want to be utopian but realize some people have to leave for that to happen. You can’t have Larry the rapist actively prowling in a utopia. Look at San Rafael California it’s inclusive well taken care of they take care of their own. I like boba tea, inclusivity, equality, and almost nearly equal outcomes. Look at Sweden they even take the time to rehabilitate criminals which I feel is pointless but it seems to work which I loathe I feel punishment is needed too. Animal Crossing would be too simple. Look at Kyoto or Tokyo you have lots of communal areas people talk to each other.

Look at Alabama or Texas big bars on the window and locks on the doors same with Los Angeles and New York City. They don’t have social safety nets people get desperate do awful stuff.

I submit that the vastness and complexity of the universe is actually one huge reason why denial of the existence of God doesn’t make sense. How could all this come from nothing? It just means that God Himself is more vast and unfathomable than we can imagine.

As to us being meaningless on this scale, King David commented in wonder on this very thing in the Bible. Particularly note verses 3 and 4:

In Christian belief, our significance and worth is from the fact that God, from the depths of His goodness and power, not only saw fit to create us, but according to scripture, did so in His image. Our worth- yours, mine, everyone’s- is intrinsic and immutable. It doesn’t depend on and cannot be modified by what we do; it’s built in. I find it awesome that the God who created the universe did that, and did it for me. And you.