An Unusual Argument for Electing Hillary Clinton


#1

According to some of the Kurds, the fighters in ISIS believe they won’t go to heaven if they are killed by a woman on the battlefield.

I wonder if ISIS fighters really believe that.

And if they do…

What would happen if the Commander in Chief of the United States were Hillary Clinton? And let’s say we train as many women to fly jets and drop bombs as we can. Or perhaps we only need a handful of female pilots plus some propaganda that claims a growing number of the pilots are female.

The idea would be to go full-sexist (on paper) and present the idea that the United States has collectively delegated the destruction of ISIS to women. We’ll say the drones are operated by women too.

That would take some of the fun out of joining ISIS, I would think.

The key to selling this idea is starting slow. Maybe we do some PR about recruiting more female pilots to fight ISIS. A year later we announce that women are volunteering like crazy to be pilots (whether it is true or not). Then we start dropping leaflets saying our women are coming to bring death from the air, courtesy of Ms. Clinton. To sound credible, perhaps we say on the notes that there’s a sixty-percent chance that any particular bomb is dropped by a woman. Next month you move that number up to 65% and so on, so it looks like a trend.

If we have too many boots on the ground, the subterfuge would become obvious. But if we only deliver death from the sky, I think we can sell that as coming from women. Especially if some of it does, which I assume is already the case.

But first you need to put a wall around the Caliphate, including a “virtual” border secured by drones, mines, and whatnot. A defined border is necessary for psychological reasons. Until the world builds a wall around the Caliphate it will seem as if we are fighting an ideology that has no borders. For psychological reasons, we need to convert ISIS from an idea to an address. Then we can send our women to bomb the crap out of that address.

[Source]


#2

In that case, DRAFT Hillary into the Army.
But for the love of God, don’t elect her.


#3

From Scott Adam’s Blog:

And obviously we need to preserve as many innocent lives as possible while doing what needs to be done.

Here I remind new(ish) readers that most of my ideas are terrible. The fun is figuring out why.

Might I suggest you quit trying?
If this is any indication, your ideas are terrible. Who cares why?


#4

This is not intended to be serious, guys… It is satire.


#5

All polls are now pointing in the same direction: Hillary Clinton is tanking. The most recent Fox News poll, taken after the new year began, shows her losing to Ted Cruz, 50 percent to 43 percent; to Marco Rubio, 50 percent to 41 percent; and even to Donald Trump, 47 percent to 43 percent. The latest Democratic primary poll, by Investor’s Business Daily, shows the former secretary of State nursing only a 4-point lead over Bernie Sanders, 43 percent to 39 percent. The RealClearPolitics average of New Hampshire polls has Sanders ahead by 6 points.