Conservatives vs first post (funny)

[SIZE=+2][SIZE=-1][SIZE=-1.0][SIZE=-1.0]This is my first post on this sight. I am looking forward to sharing ideas with like mined people, I thought I would make my first post a little humorous:

The Difference Between Conservatives and Liberals:

If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one. If a liberal doesn’t like guns, then no one should have one.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat. If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants to ban all meat products for everyone.

If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy. A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly enjoys his life. If a liberal is homosexual, he loudly demands legislated respect.

If a black man or Hispanic is conservative, he sees himself as independently successful. Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn’t like a certain talk show host, he switches channels. Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church. A liberal non-believer wants all religious expression to be silenced.

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it. A liberal demands that his neighbors pay for his. [/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE]

20 Things You Have to Believe to Be a Republican Today:

  1. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you’re a conservative radio host. Then it’s an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery

  2. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

  3. Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of illness.

  4. “Standing Tall for America”; means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.

  5. A woman can’t be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

  6. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

  7. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans’ benefits and combat pay.

  8. Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.

  9. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won’t have sex.

  10. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies,then demand their cooperation and money.

  11. HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at heart.

  12. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

  13. Global warming and tobacco’s link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

  14. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush’s daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a “we can’t find Bin Laden” diversion.

  15. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

  16. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

  17. The public has a right to know about Hillary’s cattle trades, but George Bush’s driving record is none of our business.

  18. You support states’ rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have a right to adopt.

  19. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

  20. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

Good grief, I’d think you’d at least get tired of the smell of being full of crap. First of all, although you deliberately ignored it, the OP said conservative vs liberal, not Republican vs. Democrat.

  1. Not a conservative value, and no hypocrisy because we don’t want it anywhere.
  2. That the UN won’t enforce them themselves. Which proves how useless they are.
  3. No hypocrisy here because the Big Business and Big Money is largely a leftist bogeyman. Do they do wrong? Yes. Are there already criminal laws in place to deal with it? YES. Do you know what your talking about? Uhm…
  4. No, it’s the left doing that with labor unions.
  5. Multinational corporations still cannot legally murder.
  1. Try actually reading the Bible instead of talking out your posterior.
  2. Not happy about the veterens’ benefits, but at least our side doesn’t gut the military as a matter of routine, make them bunk with homosexuals, and be “too busy” to talk to theater generals who are dealing with COMBAT SITUATIONS.
  3. Learn the diff between not only conservative and Republican, but Republican and RINO. Okay, I won’t hold my breath…
  4. As grossly oversimplified as the content of your cranium.
  5. Such as whom? Seems to me that it’s Obama who’s snubbing Britain and kissing terrorist backside.
  1. Far more than government does. Socialist medical care has a consistant record of inferiority, and more than a little out-and-out failure.
  2. What specifically are you claiming in Iraq?
  3. You’re full of it; we don’t pooh-pooh the effects of tobacco, and “global warming” pooh-poohs itself. And promoting the teaching of creationism in school is no majority on the right.
  4. For better or for worse, Saddam was deemed a lesser evil because Iran was our enemy at the time. Guess what- they still are. As to Cheney, evidence, please.
  5. The former was under oath. The latter is nonexistant (like the contents of your head).
  1. Try actually reading the Constitution; the States have the right to do such things (10th Amendment). As to banning homosexual marriage at the Federal level, that’s been proposed as a Constitutional Amendment.
  2. I don’t even know what in the world you’re talking about now. I do know that we’re apparently not allowed to know the nation of Obama’s birth…
  3. Don’t know what you’re talking about here, either.
  4. What Bill Clinton did was to feloniously skip the country to dodge the draft, and was only eligible to run for President because of a Presidential pardon- from Jimmy Carter. Now what’s your beef about Bush in the '80s?
  5. Nope. I don’t know what’s going on with Vietnam, but we should have severed trade with China after the Tiananmen Square Massacre. Again, conservative vs. Republican vs. RINO.

I’m nominating this post best of 2010. :biggrin:


[quote=“Bucks, post:4, topic:24356”]
I’m nominating this post best of 2010. :biggrin:

[/quote]I second it

I third it. :grin:

I 4th it.:grin:

I’m not in a position to be objective, but I fifth it… :drink3:

[quote=“Fantasy_Chaser, post:8, topic:24356”]
I’m not in a position to be objective, but I fifth it… :drink3: