Forums, Manners, and Why I Dislike Humans

Its true, Forums have the worst habit of bringing out the worst in people. Profanity, hatred, open racism, criticism at every turn. Just today, I was making a post about my current woes upgrading to a new computer, as this one is sadly at the very last threads of usefulness in todays world. the response I got was flatly negative. as if it was a crime that I couldn’t afford one, even a cheap one.
I was truly taken aback by this, and gave back what I was given, to which the other person was so offended at having a taste of his own tonic, he reported me to the mods! lol. The result was expected. The posts, both mine and his were removed, and order restored. But why did it have to happen in the first place? Is it truly a crime not to have the funds to buy something that most others have the privilege to have? It is a crime to be somewhat ignorant of things, and asking questions to get answers to become less so? What did I, or for that matter, other victims of this trend do to deserve this? Why must people be so hateful? And its everywhere. Your stupid because you believe in God. Your guilty because the cop said so. Your “privileged” because your white. Your racist because you voted for Trump.
If we were to ever be invaded by an alien race, they would have good reason for wiping us out for the cancer we have become. And sadly, it seems there is no light at the end of this tunnel yet.

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The people that are hateful on forums - are they just as hateful in person? More? Less?

I strongly suspect that they are the sort of back-biters we all have experienced in our lives. Say one, pseudo-kind thing to your face while disparaging you behind your back.

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Yes, because you’re not apart of the beautiful, wounderous PC Master race.

Clearly, your priorities are not in order. You should be starving and out on the street before not having at least a quad core, 16gb of RAM, 250gb SSD, and a Video card that can render 4K at 30 FPS.

May your framerates be high, and your temperatures low.

Only the dirty console peasants; the rest of us would be too busy trying to see if we could use the Aliens’ computers to play Crysis in 8K @ 60 FPS.

If not, it is WE who will do the culling. Just like in XCOM.


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No . . . not just forums . . . the ENTIRE INTERNET. It provides a home for crazies that can hide behind the ANONYMITY of the net.

And I wouldn’t say it brings out the “worst” necessarily, but it DOES accentuate whatever personality traits that, say, booze does.

If you are a well mannered, courteous, civil, positive person, then you’ll likely be a "happy drunk", but if you are an abrasive moron, then you’ll likely be a “mean drunk”. Same goes for forums and the Internet in general.

One of the reasons that the loonies thrive on the Internet is because it is . . . ANONYMOUS. You will NEVER know if the other fellow is what he SAYS he is, lives where he SAYS he lives, is the age he SAYS he is, etc.

There is no doubt in my mind that some live in the basement of their parents’ house, some have spent time in loonie bins, some have done time in prison for felonies, and some drool and swat at imaginary flies (btw, I have seen forum members admit to most of those things). One guy said that he was posting from prison, where he had been incarcerated for felony fraud. Another fellow said he was living with his parents because he was on probation and couldn’t get a job because he had a felony on his record. And then there was the fellow that said he had to take strong psychotropic drugs in order to post coherently . . . and it showed in his posts dramatically when he was off his meds. Of course, some of them could be lying anyway. Who knows?

For example, I am north of 70, have owned my house outright for the last 17 years, have been retired since 2000, am severely physically handicapped but still above ground, am a VietNam combat veteran (USMC), have a Masters in Chemical Engineering, and have worked in refineries and taught high school (didn’t last too long in that because I couldn’t handle the liberal education system).

Now for all you know, I could be lying about all of that. I could just as well be a 16 year old posting from my parents’ computer in their basement where I live.

My point is that you absolutely do not know who is behind that keyboard making the post.

The best you can do is make some reasonable GUESSES based on the posting style. For example, if grammar and syntax is mangled, then you can either make a guess that English is not the poster’s first language, or the poster does not have the education he claims, or the poster was schooled in the liberal education system (btw, I attended Roman Catholic schools in the 50’ and 60’s. For all their faults and flaws . . . and they WERE psychopaths . . . the nuns, priests, and brothers gave me a sound education in the three R’s.)

In any case, you have no idea I am who I say I am. I can hide behind the ANONYMITY of the Internet.

I’m probably preaching to the choir, but we often forget this basic fact of Webby World. It is a magnet and a safe haven for crazies that on the street would be wearing straight jackets if they behaved as they do on the net.

By responding, you are giving them what they crave and what they can get on the net WITHOUT any consequences: ATTENTION.

Some, like one of our moderators here, RwNj, are mellow (just about the most good-natured guy I’ve ever seen on the Internet . . . have never EVER seen him get his shorts twisted). He probably will live longer because if it. There’s a lot to be said for that kind of amiable approach. Eliminates stress.

And then others, like apparently the person you spoke of (who it sounds like baited you, and you took the hook), are the shrill nutbirds that hang out on the Internet, looking for decent but naive people like you. You are prey . . . STOP RESPONDING TO THESE SCREWBALLS.

(Yes, I know that’s easier to say than to do . . . but remember, you’re giving them what they want: ATTENTION. What they don’t want is to be IGNORED.)

If that type of behavior surprises you, maybe you shouldn’t be hanging out on the Internet. People ARE GOING TO CALL YOUR BABY UGLY . . . count on it.

Big mistake, although I myself have done the same thing.

If you’re asking that question, again I’m wondering if you should be hanging out on the Internet to begin with.

Having a “thick skin” is absolutely necessary. The Internet is no place for people who expect courteous behavior from all. If you’re easily offended, or otherwise overly sensitive to insults, this is not the place for you.

Because, if that’s their “normal” way of acting, they can do it on the Internet WITOUT consequences. They can let their natural tendency to be malevolent and obnoxious run wild with no restraint. Ultimately, they may get banned, but they just move on to the next forum, or maybe even a newsgroup, which are notorious for being unmoderated.

Well, if those “aliens” looked ONLY at the Internet, you would likely be right.

If you want “light at the end of the tunnel” on the Internet, find a forum that’s well moderated (not too heavy handed, but yet not wimps), and settle in there. Yes, those kinds of forums are hard to find, but the mods here, while not micromanagers (which I like) will keep any lack of civility down to a low roar. The rest is up to you and that thick skin I think will serve you well.

My own “policy” to avoid the abrasive behavior that can get you banned? I have two rules for myself.


However, I have on occasion (very rarely) violated this rule. Sometimes I get angry at these nut cases and give them the attention they crave. The better approach . . . just shut 'er down, go do something you know you’ll enjoy, and your cooler mind will prevail.

But if I violate my rule number 1, my second rule pops up.


That’s because if I can’t get my point across after that, then going beyond three posts will only inflame an already heated dispute. The duscussion will degenerate into pointless ad hominems. Just be done with it and get the heck outta’ there.

It is perhaps a cliché, but there’s a lot of truth to it:

“Never argue with an idiot! They will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience”.


this brings up an interesting situation. I am both a PC master Gamer, using, albeit an old one, but a still functional gaming computer. and… I have 4 consoles. from different companies. I must be the worst sort of black sheep…

a decent and well thought reply. the subject matter was, however, meant to be more a secular question rather then a personal rant. however I can say that you are right. as you say, one cant know what the other person on the chat is. I personally, am a highly intelligent person, that has had a few too many doses of shabby human behavior in his life. I used to drive Semi’s for a living (lorries for our British friends), but a rather nasty accident left me without a career, and, like others, living in my basement, with my mother. disability was not an option, (hell, they turn down people in wheelchairs, what hope did I have with a cane?) and sadly, outside of a job being a call service person (which I would last a week, at most. it would take one idiot to call me about his broke computer, only to discover the power in his house has been out for hours…), the prospect of getting another job is bleak.

but, as you say, I could be a scientist for CERN, or a nuclear physicist that got bored. perhaps a felon on death row, or a 15 yo looking to sound important. and that curtain of anonymity is, as you say, what gives power to those that thrive on causing grief. and I, as you have read, fell victim to my own flaws of wanting to even the playing field.

good rules by the way.

Have you tried or given thought to doing IT work? Cyber security? Database management?

“Why does it have to be this way”, I think the answer is “because many people are very insecure about the decisions that they make and the reasons why they make those decisions”.

People who let others do their thinking for them have no basis for determining whether their opinions are right or wrong, their only defense for their choices is trying to argue the points that their “designated thinkers” said would justified the decision.

They buy computers, phones, cars and every manner of personal electronics based on the words of others, they don’t buy because they can “afford” these things or even because they need these things; they are just afraid of not letting others think for them.

Few consider the idea of using a good used computer or phone so the “designated thinkers” don’t advise this very efficient course of action; even though most people’s needs would be served flawlessly without “bleeding edge” technology.

If you choose this course either because you are smart enough to know that the bleeding edge needlessly costs 4 times more than last years “bleeding edge” or because you simply cannot afford it, your decision rings a bell in the mind of people who regularly live with debt and buyers remorse; they feel exposed as being insecure intellectually so they feel the need to lash out at people who are confident enough to think for themselves.

All you did was make a less common choice that was more efficient for your circumstances but to those who rely entirely on hearsay from those who they have assigned the task of “designated thinkers” you have offered a great insult.

So they lash out in an attempt to quiet the inner voice that condemns them as intellectual cripples, you meant no such insult but those who let others do the thinking are very aware of those who don’t “walk in their herd”.

This happens in politics, relationship choices, career choices and all consumption right down to soap purchases; many people need to know an “expert” approves of their decisions.

The Internet is a medium where these insecurities can be expressed without reservation, letting these mental midgets draw you into anger is a fruitless endeavor; but mocking them can certainly be fun :slight_smile:


It’s mostly about control. The idea that someone has different circumstances in life, or even has similar circumstances but different priorities is highly offensive to many people. Everyone needs to do things a certain way - and that way just so happens to be exactly how I do them.

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When I first got on what you call today as the Internet, it was ARPANET in those days, it was just a bunch of scinestists, researchers, engineers etc, strung together across the Army and linked to various schools such as CALTECH, research libraries, Stanford and a bunch of big military contractors like Boeing, SAIC etc etc. There we bantered around questions about how to, any one have an answer for etc. I worked in R&D & Testing being on the emerging IT world few if any one has solid answers. I love talking about the early days of IT as it was truly the days of the wild west, it was fun and I loved it. Today, I don’t think so much. Today I talk with software engineers and they are trying to solve problems we solved back in the 80’s and 90’s.

Anyhow I drift, point was early on the Internet was a great place to be. But as the desktop PeeCee became affordable the masses arrived and brought with them a Walter Mitty ego, because for the first time in their life they could be a expert in any field they wanted and be powerful, far more so then their job at the mall selling women’s shoes. When you life is a basket of crap, your pretend world you are the king…

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I’m much nicer here than in person.


LOL. Ditto.

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