Funny Human Resources Story

Funny Human Resources Story
A big steel company was feeling it was time for a shakeup so they hired a new head of human resources. Well, the new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, this HR supremo noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business; so he asked the guy, "How much money do you make a week?"
A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, "I make $500 a week. Why?"
The Human Resources boss said, “Wait right here.” He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $2,000 in cash and said, "Here’s four weeks’ pay. Now GET OUT and don’t come back."
Feeling pretty good about himself, the new boss looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that slacker did here?"
From across the room a voice said, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino’s."
ResimayDeer Sir,
I waunt to apply for the secritary job what I saw in the paper. I can Type
real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.
I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole really
seam to respond to me well.
Im lookin for a Jobb as a secritary but it musent be to complicaited.
I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru my
persinalety. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me
and wat you think that I am werth,
I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser.
hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.
Peggy May Starlings
PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - enclosed is a pickture of me taken at my last jobb.

Funny Appraisals
[]Gets along extremely well with superiors and subordinates alike: A coward.
]Happy: Paid too much.
[]Hard worker: Usually does it the hard way.
]Identifies major management problems: Complains a lot.
[]Indifferent to instruction: Knows more than superiors.
]Internationally know: Likes to go to conferences and trade shows in Las Vegas.
[]Is well informed: Knows all office gossip and where all the skeletons are kept.
]Inspires the cooperation of others: Gets everyone else to do the work.
[]Is unusually loyal: Wanted by no-one else.
]Keen sense of humour: Knows lots of dirty jokes.
[]Keeps informed on business issues: Subscribes to Playboy and National Enquirer.
]Listens well: Has no ideas of his own.
[]Maintains a high degree of participation: Comes to work on time.
]Maintains professional attitude: A snob.
[]Meticulous in attention to detail: A nitpicker.
]Mover and shaker: Favours steamroller tactics without regard for other opinions.
[*]Not a desk person: Did not go to college.

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