I'm back


#1

I know I wrote a short thread but for about month I have been so swamped with the work I’ve had no time for all of this. Now, I am back. I look forward to this distraction. My personal life has become a lot more difficult. I would love any advice on where I have gone wrong.

I moved back from abroad about 4 months ago. I was penniless and had accumulated some debt. I return to the parents house and in that time I have repaired almost everything wrong with the house, have taken over the basic chores of the house, and pay a third of the bills. In addition, unlike many others in this country, I was able to tack down a full-time job with salary and benefits. In a matter of 1 month working there I have been able to earn enough to not only take a huge dent out of my debt but also begin to start looking for an apartment.

Well, and I know I shouldn’t be complaining about this kind of crap, but my parents have been nothing but critical since day one. And last night it finally exploded. I was working a wedding (as a favor to my mother’s friend) and had to work all the way until midnight. I did this for free mind you. Well, she apparently had called me on my phone while i was serving drinks on the dance floor (loud music and all) I didn’t hear it and she was forced to walk into the party so she could tell me she was there and she would drive me home. Well her friend (the person who asked for my help) sees her and invites her for a drink. She stays a few minutes, has a drink, while I finish cleaning up the party. We leave and she explodes on me for not coming out, for making her stay up late, and that I should have walked home (at 1 in the morning). I was so pissed I defended myself (loudly) and this morning she woke me up at 6am opening and slamming my bedroom door like a loon for a good 20 minutes. She has spent the day screaming at me and, in the course of going to church she lost her cell phone, that also became my fault. Now, am I going crazy or is she? I can’t figure it out.

Anyways, to conclude, instead of busting my ass around the house, cleaning fixing things, lifting and moving stuff, I’ve confined myself to the old bedroom and have begun searching for an apartment. Therefore, I now have time to talk on this site.


#2

Wow, get out of dodge, and stay out of the dodge as long as you can, and don’t go back as long as your mother doesn’t promise not to get angry.


#3

First, congrats on getting your finances in order so quickly.

Your mum, whether it’s justified or not, sounds put out. I think you best find your own apt. and wheels a.s.a.p. - before you’re not speaking at all.


#4

I would suggest getting you own apartment and car and then letting things cool down for a bit and then try talking to her again.


#5

I think your mother is slowly going insane, please have a Psychological Therapist check her out, or just send her to a shrink.


#6

Move out and you wont have to deal with this. Bottom line.


#7

Her house, her rules (no matter how wacky).


#8

True but his mom flipping out on him over the whole phone thing(his and hers) is rational at all.


#9

I agree with everyone here, you prob. should get your own apartment ASAP


#10

So what? What does how whacky she’s being have to do with anything? Her house; she can be as whacky as she wants.
You’re beginning to sound like somebody who thinks the kids should be able to make the rules.
Does it not occur to you that maybe she’s acting whacky because she’s out of patience - no matter how considerate FC has been - with having an adult child back in her home?
All of which, is irrrelavant. FC needs to find his own home where he can make his own rules.


#11

I don’t know him or his Mom personally. If this is a sudden change of behavior then get her checked right away. Could be medication mixing trouble, Alzheimer’s, dementia, ect… If this has been her SOP her entire life then no worries, or at least none you can do much about.


#12

Oh the though did occur to me that it might be the case(her out of patience) but she could of at least talked to him about it instead going off on him. Doing that helps no one and only cause the two to become distant if both get mad at each other. And no I do not believe that kids should make the rules quite the opposite. I just believe that adults should act like adults. My mom and grandparents would never yell at their kids like that. It solves nothing. I believe we all agree that FC2 needs to get is own place.


#13

True I agree with ya there.