My family gives up


So many here will remember and know of my immigration issues with my wife coming into the United States. She’s a Canadian/Taiwanese citizen, works in the IT field, and all around good person. We also have a son, and want another child.

We applied for her green card over a year ago, and have been navigating through immigration hell ever since. We’ve already had one I-130 denial (due to USCIS screwups) and now having issues with the second application. We’ve supplied everything asked for, evidence, proof of financial responsibility, blah blah blah blah. And now there is more trouble.

Our family is tired… dead tired, and SICK of this process that has robbed us of over a years time and nearly $10,000 in government and attorney’s fees. My wife is furious and between all of the school shootings, the violent crime, and video’s of morons, the NSA, militarized cops, metal detectors in schools… with schools falling farther and farther behind… etc etc why even choose to be here over any other first world developed country? Then it hit me… there ISN’T any real good reason. Then a video I long dismissed before came and hit me like a ton of bricks.

While I’m currently a permanent resident in Taiwan while doing the US immigration for my wife, we have discussed and determined that Canada is where we would like to raise our family. My wife will be sponsoring me to be a perm resident in Canada, and I’ll get citizenship there. A fair amount of her family is in Canada, so that will help. I should be able to get into Canada legally and work before our immigration case for the USA finishes. I won’t be giving up my citizenship, and will still be forced to pay income taxes to the US, but for the most part, I think I’m done with the USA. We’ve been treated like criminals since the very start of this process, and we only wanted to do things the right way. Never have I felt so sick and jaded in my life, and it’s over my own country, the supposed bastion of freedom. A nation of immigrants that looked for a better dream.

It isn’t anymore.


Our immigration system is hell and broken, that much is true. I am sorry to hear of your family and loved ones trouble Maylar.


Maylar, you must be so disheartened, and I don’t blame you. Surely a shaft that you and your family did NOT deserve.

I’m ashamed of this mess.

Still, my best to you and your family reunion. May you live, love, grow, and prosper no matter where you are…together.


I have been saying that the only people who are consistently treated like criminals in the United States are the people who live and act in ways that decent societies honor.

If you work hard, are responsible as a citizen and in your personal affairs, care enough about the “rules” to try and follow them and pay your taxes you are public enemy number 1.

If you ignore all the rules, are irresponsible in your personal affairs, never pay taxes and generally spit upon the United States you will be treated with great honor and earn the favor of many special interest groups and the government as well.

The only difference between a Constitutional Conservative and a supporter of the American Left is whether or not they have any actual experience trying to be a productive citizen who follows the rules and does the right thing.

The most offensive thing that I could be called by anyone is a “Law abiding citizen”, I in no way condone, respect, endorse or lend credibility to our Judicial/Legislative/Regulatory system.

Any appearance of respect that I seem to have for the “Law” is coincidental, just an anomaly where some element of our former credible days is still on the books and happens to align with me; it is never my intention to “obey the Law”.

I am sorry the United States is no longer a Nation that rolls out the welcome mat for families such as yours Maylar, good luck in Canada


Can you elaborate? She is your wife, you have a child together, she is a dual citizen while you are an American citizen, and she cannot be reunited with you? Is this because you aren’t on American soil?

Something is amiss here.


He was on American soil to start with. He had to go to Taiwan - if I understood correctly - and work on his wife’s behalf from there. I believe he was in the US throughout the first attempt to get her a green card.


Well, didn’t “have to”, but really really wanted to. She had only recently found out she was pregnant at the time, but was diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum. She was in the US as a tourist at the time, but was nearing the time limit she was allowed in the US legally as a tourist and was forced to leave the US with this condition. She went to her parents in Taiwan due to the illness. Sometime later I followed to Taiwan to help out before birth and be there for the birth of our son. She had that damned hyperemesis lasted the ENTIRE pregnancy. I’ve stayed in Taiwan since coming out here, helping my wife recover and raising our son.

If you care to learn about hyperemesis, check out this resource. It’s authoritative and accurate. My wife was an extremely severe case that landed in the hospital twice due to it. USCIS was informed of it and our struggles when we had the positive pregnancy letter submitted as part of our evidence of legit relationship.

Help HER - » Understanding Hyperemesis | Overview
Help HER - » For Family & Friends | FAQs

Shocked, some post ago I went more in detail regarding our troubles. The entire thing is infuriating and I didn’t particually care to go into it again. We had all the trouble, then had a brief bright spot when then 2nd I-130 was approved, and now it’s all downhill again with the NVC. If you want to search my posts go ahead and you’ll find the stuff up to the I130 approval, but I don’t want to go into anything after that, because I’m just so SICK and JADED of everything regarding immigration and the US right now. It’s easier for me to spend time telling you why I don’t 'want to go into anymore details because the emotional rage and depression I feel when I start to type the details you want just become to much.


Just go to North Mexico, and cross the currently fashionable way.

Ridiculous that the process is that convoluted. There needs to be a process, but it shouldn’t take years, nor months. I would say a six week wait while the foreign embassy is contacted and your citizenship verified.

Less if it’s involving an American Citizen who is the spouse.


My side of the family is taking this decision VERY hard. My father straight up told me the family feels cheated, betrayed, and disappointed in our decision. There are other reasons besides immigration problems for making this decision, and I tried to explain these, but no dice.

Now, both my wife’s and my hearts are breaking from guilt over leaving the usa, and supreme rage inducing loathing of my own government, alng with another set of other factors that I just can’t get into.

And my last grandfather just passed away.

I honestly feel like curling into a ball and crying… again. We just want to settle down permanently and raise our son the best way we can. The universe other the other hand, seems to just keep carrying out more and more plans for us… plans I desperately wish it would stop.


Stay strong Maylar. I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts.


This is not advice. just a story about how I handled being treated like a scumbag by my government.

5 separate times I have had my vocation outlawed by government, each time this left my family of 5 destitute with no legitimate prospects for recovery. Anger and fear over how I would feed, clothe and house my kids coupled with the hopelessness of knowing that the government did not give a damn about whoever they crushed or the hardship that they were needlessly putting on the heads of innocent citizens was quite depressing.

My wife still tears up when she recalls those events and especially when she recalls what I had to do to keep our heads afloat; only to have whatever I rebuilt be snatched away again. When your wife asks “what do we do now?” the answer “I will just have to figure something out” does not inspire much confidence, especially when the others in your same predicament are losing everything they spent a lifetime building.

By the 5th time this happened I decided to take another approach, I call this the “Kiss my ass, take me to jail if you don’t like it” strategy; I named it that because that was the only thing I said in writing or over the phone to anyone from government who attempted to enforce their new “rules”.

I decided that if I was going down it would not be voluntarily, I had capitulated for years out of fear that they would destroy me completely but the result of my capitulation was that I destroyed myself; saving them the need to make good on their threats.

I was also subtly agreeing with them that I was now a criminal if I attempted to hide any attempts to ignore their “rules”, this was unacceptable to me since I viewed them as the criminals. So I quit hiding and I quit capitulating, I have yet to find myself in a jail cell or a court room and I make no attempt to avoid any of these bureaucracies.

I just do the right thing and put the ball in their court to persecute me for doing it, life is much more peaceful that way as I have shifted the burden onto the ones who deserve to bear it, the corrupt government who created all the problems to begin with.

I know it sounds easier to say than to do, it took four enormous events for me to adopt a new course. But these lazy, despicable bureaucrats are just not worth that much emotion; at some point their capacity to abuse us is exceeded by the abuse we put ourselves through trying to make them happy.

I don’t ask permission to do the right thing any more, and especially not from an entity that never does the right thing themselves. I know this is effectively anarchy since that puts me in the sole position of authority over right and wrong, and I do still despise anarchy. But we may just need a period of widespread anarchy for this government to finally seek to restore their credibility by their performance and integrity instead of just their ability to use threats and force.

I know what I would do in your situation if I was in it today, but I also know what I did in this situation when I had one small child at home and was going through it for the first time; I did not ignore them back then and I suffered every blow from my own hand trying to do as they demanded.

That is why I never advise anyone to do it my way, it takes a lot of beatings to stare down a government that acts like a god with a lot of guns.

Good luck and sorry to hear about your Grandfather, I miss both of my Grandfather’s and especially their example and encouragement.