North Korea Lands First Ever Man On The Sun, Confirms Central News Agency


#1

Should I have posted this in the Late Breaking News forum? :plain::wave:

VIA – THE STATE News Agency of North Korea has confirmed today that the country has become the first in the world to ever land a man on the sun.

It reported that astronaut Hung Il Gong left for the sun on a specially designed rocket ship at approximately 3am this morning.

Hung, who traveled alone, reached his destination some four hours later, landing his craft on the far side of the lonely star.

“We are very delighted to announce a successful mission to put a man on the sun” a North Korean central news anchor man said on a live broadcast earlier. “North Korea has beaten every other country in the world to the sun. Hung Il Gong is a hero and deserves a hero’s welcome when he returns home later this evening.”

The specially trained astronaut is expected to return back to earth at 9pm tonight, where he will meet his uncle and supreme leader Kim Jong-un.

It is understood that the 17-year-old ‘space explorer’ traveled at night to avoid being engulfed by the suns rays, and that this genius approach has brought the soviet state to the top of the global space rankings.

While on the sun, Mr. Hung collected sun spot samples to bring back to his supreme leader as a present.

The 18 hour mission is already being called the ‘greatest human achievement of our time’ by the North Korean central news agency.

North Korea Lands First Ever Man On The Sun, Confirms Central News Agency | To The Death Media


#2

I was expecting The Onion…


#3

Looks like they have Common Core education in NK too.


#4

I wonder if people in North Korea view those who doubt this the same way we view people who think the moon landing was a hoax?


#5
I saw this movie the other day and Ma and Pa Kettle was doing math. Maybe that is where common core came from

#6

I LOVE Ma and Pa Kettle!


#7

Took me all of 15 seconds to confirm… that it might as well been the Onion.

Original story broke here: North Korea Lands First Ever Man On The Sun, Confirms Central News Agency | Waterford Whispers News

Note the Disclaimer of the site: Disclaimer | Waterford Whispers News

Waterford Whispers News is a fabricated satirical newspaper and comedy website published by Waterford Whispers News.

Waterford Whispers News uses invented names in all its stories, except in cases when public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental.

To the media and everybody that fell for this…


#8

I remember a live one from some years back when Kim Jong Il was still dictator of North Korea. They touted a study that proclaimed (I think; it’s been a while, so I may be garbling it a bit) that a majority of Americans found Kim Jong Il to be the sexiest head of state in the world or something like that.

They appeared to be totally oblivious to the significance of their source for this “fact” being The Onion…


#9

I suspected as much, but wasn’t about to waste my time researching it (it would have taken me longer than it did you). But I wonder if there are North Koreans who (if they had opportunity to see this) bought it.


#10

Well it may have been a bright idea, and they may have had a burning desire to accomplish something special, may have even tried it solar.


#11

I wonder what strength sun tan lotion he used. SPF2000?


#12

Not only that, FC…check this out:

KJI Shoots 38 Under Par His First Time Playing Golf, Including 11 Holes-in-One

…and we thought Tiger Woods, Jack Nicklaus, Arnold Palmer and Phil Mickelson were good…gee, go figger


#13

Yall doubt the Glorious Leader and his democratic nation? You will be sorry when he starts charging you for the solar energy that we collect as the Sun is officially NK territory. You may no bow now but you will later to the Glorious Leader!!!


#14

Groan


#15

I don’t know whether to say “Thanks” or groan.


#16

:wave:


#17

Just look at what they ave accomplished. faster than light drive, drive powerful enough to stop having the rocket pulled into the sun. Heat shields so good they protect the craft as well as its occupant. Space suits that will protect the occupant from not only walking on a gas giant but the wearer can take a sample of the sun to bring back. All this while having earth bound rockets fail time after time to fly.:devil:


#18

[quote=“Fantasy_Chaser, post:8, topic:47890”]
I remember a live one from some years back when Kim Jong Il was still dictator of North Korea. They touted a study that proclaimed (I think; it’s been a while, so I may be garbling it a bit) that a majority of Americans found Kim Jong Il to be the sexiest head of state in the world or something like that.

They appeared to be totally oblivious to the significance of their source for this “fact” being The Onion…
[/quote]Do you remember the movie The Interview? In any event this would be good Onion copy.


#19

I remember hearing about it; I never saw it. I know that North Korea blew a gasket over it.


#20

[quote=“Fantasy_Chaser, post:19, topic:47890”]
I remember hearing about it; I never saw it. I know that North Korea blew a gasket over it.
[/quote]Yes. Hacked Sony’s website. Sony withdrew movie but had to reinstate it because of public pressure. I saw it. It was hilarious.