EVERYWHERE IN SPACE-TIME SIMULTANEOUSLY—Attempting to appeal to the widest possible demographic base as [COLOR=#8b0000]Election Day draws near, President Obama made a surprise campaign stop Monday to visit an infinite series of alternate universes that vibrate on a hyperdimensional plane different from the three spatial dimensions observable in our own universe.
Occupying an M-theory-postulated “brane,” or multidimensional “membrane,” of either 11 or 22 dimensions depending on the chirality of the observer, Obama urged any hypothetical sentient consciousnesses within that multiverse to vote for him in November, or in whatever analogous chronological period their version of space-time specifies as extant.
Courting illegal aliens. . .