So You Lost Your Election


So You Lost Your Election

Losing a job can be a challenging and stress-filled time. Especially during the holidays, and especially for someone like you - the soon-to-be former team associate of the United States Congress. At this moment, you may be packing boxes and moving vans with the cherished mementos and petty cash of your career in Washington. You may be wrapping those last-minute trillion dollar gifts and holiday earmarks for loyal supporters, phoning final farewells to your Washington colleagues, lobbyists, and “escort services.” In many cases you may find that they, too, have lost their jobs – and, if they haven’t, will no longer return your calls. …

Step 3: Get the Skills You Need

Fortunately, America has thousands of colleges, technical institutes, and trade schools that can teach you the skills you currently lack. However, it is important to avoid coursework in fields like political science, critical studies and journalism. Remember, you are trying to gain skills. And if the previous section confused you, you should also probably avoid barber school.

Step 4: Finding Job Openings

This is probably the easiest part, and at the same time the hardest part, of your job search. Despite the economy, thousands of job listings can be found in your local newspaper and online sites like The difficult part is finding one that will not laugh you out of the room. If this is impossible, return to Step 3.

Some very amusing schadenfreude!