Texas Declares War on America


#1

**President Obama was in the Oval Office when his phone rang. **

"Hello, President Obama" a heavily accented southern voice said. "This is Archie, down here at Joes Crab Shack in Houston Texas, Im callin to tell yall that we are officially declaring war on yall!"

"Well Archie," Obama replied, This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now, there is myself, my cousin Harold, my next door neighbor Randy and the whole dart team from Hooters. That makes eight!" exclaimed Archie.

**Obama paused. “I must tell you Archie, that I have ONE MILLION men in my army waiting to move on my command.” **

"Wow", said Archie. "I will have to call you back."

Sure enough the next day Archie caled again. "Mr Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment! We have two combines, a bulldozer and Harry’s farm tractor!"

Obama sighed, "Archie, I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. And since we last spoke I have increased my army to ONE AND A HALF MILLION!"

"OH LORD!" said Archie. "I will have to get back to ya."

Sure enough Archie rang the next day. "Mr Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We up an’ modified Harolds ultra light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit and four boys from the Legion have joined us as well!"

Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface to air missle sites. AND since we last spoke I have increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"Lord above!" said Archie. "Im gonna have to call you back."

The next day Archie called back. "Mr Obama! I am sorry to tell you that we had to call off the war."

"Im sorry to hear that." said Obama. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well sir, said Archie, "we all sat down and had a long chat over a few beers and come to realize that there is just no way we can feed two million prisoners."

TEXAS CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN!