Will my constituants understand?

Dear Suh,
It seems that I MAY have
inappropriately , while serving in the legislature, touched women…hundreds of them. Before I am EXPOSED , I thought I should do the SOUTHERN MANLY thing
And confess…
I have wondered of late why none have come forward to besmirch the name of FOGHORN.
Were there so many that they have CLOGGED the media and editors cannot handle the number?
Were they ashamed to come forward?
Have most of them DIED of OLD AGE?
Perhaps I can make amends by naming those I have NOT “gropped”…
Nancy Pelosi is too fast to pin down on anything…
Maxine Waters is too ugly
Sarah Palin was of my own PARTY and out of bounds (in deed I fondled her not…but I am BLESSED with a terrific imagination.)
HILLARY should come forward and confess to chasing ME…It seems Bill wad always too busy for “homework”.I managed to elude her. She had requested cigars from time to time…it seems she had become fond of the real fat ones. I am only guessing Monica Lewinsky was not the only one with a fondness for cigars.)
Well…I am glad to get that over with.Now I can return to the HETEROSEXUAL CAUCUS with a clear conscience.